Sometimes I  honestly don't see why I try. Have you ever gotten that feeling. I've been trying to get with the same girl for 3 years.We met on Myspace. I saw her profile picture and thought, "Oh my God, i have no chance. I better not or else i'll just get hurt from rejection." i added her and we started talking that night.Since the moment i met her i wanted to be with her, but instead, I've had to wait for everything. At first she liked a guy. They started dating. They dated for a year and 4 months. I was there through all of it. Hoping maybe she would see something in me that she didn't in him. She became my best friend. I went from like to love, and waited.

             At that point it had been 2 years since we met, and i liked her more than ever. They broke up and i tried my heart to help her. She say's i did but i don't think i did. I have been waiting three years and i really want to date her. I've wanted to take her to every dance i could and hang out with her and just really talk to her as much as i could. Kinda got a little hurt tonight, but don't worry grandma, if your reading this, I'll be fine. Really i just wanna ask her if she'll be my girlfriend, but of course, im scared to. I know she's gonna say no. Because, contrary to what my grandmother thinks, I don't really deserve a girl as amazing as her. I'm a screwup and don't feel worth it. But I'll go ahead and ask.

          Hannah Bear I really like you, and i know you'll probably say no, but I'm gonna ask anyway, if your reading this...will you go out with me?

Bowling

Today I am in Lubbock, Texas. I'm at a place called "The Main Event". Its weird. Its like the stole the idea for chucky cheese...and made it better. Still weird.

Still thinking about that website. And I'm also thinking about how good I'm gonna try to do in school this year. And How much I love Stephen Hawking's explination of God. I'm gonna try to be as smart as that dude.

Learning

Having to learn JavaScript. Its kinda fun but challenging. Got a lot of people cheering me on in this idea for a website. I like it. Makes me feel special. Im gonna do this. Its gonna be my big thing.

And to the guy that's hurting my best friend...I hate to cuss (even though some people may not consider this cussing) stop being such a dick and realize what you have. Seriously. She is amazing and beautiful and deserves a lot better than you, but she stays with you because she wants to try to make it work. I would love to be with her even though she deserves a lot better than me. So seriously. Quit being a dick.

All Nighter

Pulled an all nighter. Learned a lot on Css. Here pretty soon im going to have to start learning JavaScript.

New Title

I got a new title for this stuff. I have only ever told one girl that she has ever gotten the real Leo. I'm not gonna say it would get me and her in trouble...but if she reads this then she knows who she is.

Right now I am learning how to you CSS on an old laptop with an old keyboard & mouse. I am going to try and get a all new computer for my room. Just for me. So I can use it as much as I want without people needing it or messing up my setup. I got it just right. 24 pack of Coke, Cheezits, Phone, and a notebook to take all the notes I need on programming.

Even though the night is basically over, I can tell the rest of this night is going to end up to be a good one for me.

This Stuff

This stuff is killing me. I have so many things on my mind and I can't any of it out. It makes me mad. I wanna make a freakin website so bad. I wonder how Mark felt when he was making Facebook. I just gotta find an idea.

I'm pretty sure that whenever the people who made the greatest inventions in the world made what they made, it was a lot easier than it is for me. Well I guess I'm going to bed...even though nobody is gonna read this. Goodnight.

Stuff On My Mind

Have you ever felt boxed in with no where to go? Too afraid to get out of the box because your afraid of what could happen once you out. Have you ever wanted to scream something and wanted to let it out on top of roofs with a crowd? Have you ever liked someone and wanted to tell them but thought that they wouldn't like you so you hold it in and never let it out?

All of those question for me are a yes. I feel boxed in right now with no where to go. I feel boxed in by this website and want to get out but I'm afraid if i get out of this box then im going to lose money or friends or make a fool of myself. I guess I have always been like that. I have always thought that if I let myself out there then I might not be able to get back to how I am now.

I wish Walters had rooftops to climb so I could let all of this out. It kills me to hold stuff in because if I let it out...I feel that it wouldn't matter or make anything better. Well...thats just stuff on my mind I guess.